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5 Ways to Protect Lane Kiffin


4. Harvey Updyke


I know. What’s that clown gonna do, right? Say what you want about him, but one thing Harvey clearly knows how to do is kill trees. But not just any trees. Iconic trees that belong to the enemy. Which calls for a certain degree of espionage. I think he should wing Lane and teach him all he knows in the ways of espionage.

Speaking of, what’s up with the mustache, Harvey? (a) It’s preposterous, even for a man who kills trees for a living. But (b) it makes you come off like a poor man’s Colonel Reb.


It’s clearly a disguise. And you’re only rocking your Alabama hat because you’re within the safe confines of your domicile. (Well, that and you probably want to keep your head lice quarantined.) But if you were to go out and about, I bet you’d lose the hat and go all incognito, Colonel Reb style.

Which leads us to our final idea. Lane Kiffin should follow your lead and…


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